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================================================ {SFTH} *I Just Don't Want to be Disposable Anymore* 3/16/01 ================================================ If you enjoy this free daily email service, I encourage you to I appreciate any feedback or constructive criticism, so feel free to Just joined us and want to see all the past stories we've run? AOL Users click here: Straight From the Heart ================================================== by Debbie Harrell
Those were her exact words. They still are hovering in the air like words from a comic book character that are displayed in bubbles above their heads. She is my friend, and I am sad to hear her say these words. Her pain hovers around me as I remember the words. Disposable - designed to be used once and then thrown away We live in a disposable society. There are disposable diapers, disposable food containers, disposable clothing. There are those who throw away food with no thought of other countries who would scavenge the trash cans of America for a few crumbs. There are those who throw away their money on meaningless things. There are those who throw away their dreams because they simply can't deal with this disposable world we live in. My friend has joined the ranks of the walking wounded. The individuals that have been disposed of. Sometimes as children with parents who just don't know what to do or how to love. Sometimes by peers who don't know how much it hurts to isolate others. Sometimes by boyfriends or girlfriends who reject them for someone "better." Sometimes by friends who simply cannot tolerate their sadness. Sometimes by husbands or wives who simply walk away, leaving behind critical comments that add to feelings of rejection and hurt. She had been rejected. Not in one marriage, but two. Not in one relationship, but many. I understood her pain. I understood the comment she was making. I understood her sadness in trying to find someone, anyone, who would walk beside her in a permanent relationship without leaving her when it wasn't what they desired. And I thought back to my own experience. I, too, had been in two marriages. I, too, had been rejected. And I, too, had given up my dreams. She began to weep as she told me how she felt. She sadly began the self-fulfilling prophecy of what we are often told - that there is nothing permanent, nothing we can depend on, no one worthy of trust, that we are truly alone in our own little isolated world. And I was speechless. I had no words of comfort to give her because she is in the throes of still yet another failed relationship that appeared to be the beginning of the answer to her prayers and dreams. I stood outside looking at the moon and wondered just how this happens. How does something beautiful just melt into the sand like it never was? And I began to despair about my own hopes and dreams. But then I remembered those who defy the odds. My high school sweetheart, married 21 years, whose wife is suffering through breast cancer, who stands by her no matter what the cost. A friend, married for 20+ years, to a woman suffering from depression that paralyzes her inside the walls of their home, who loves her anyway. A friend, married for many years, whose husband is confined to a wheelchair and can no longer work, so she has to support the family. A friend who has a child with Down's Syndrome and sits with her every day because she is getting old and can no longer function independently. My grandfather, who spent many years taking care of my grandmother, who had Alzheimer's. These people are salt of the earth. They defy the world of disposability. They define the words "love and commitment." Love that cannot give back. Love that is not self-seeking. Love that does not go away. I told my friend how much I loved her, that I would be her friend no matter what, that I would not throw her away. But, after some thought, I want to tell her more. I want to tell her to hold to her hopes and dreams because if you can't dream it and believe it, you can never see it. "Where there is no vision, the people perish." God knew, and we should know. We are never alone in this cosmos called Earth. We just need to grab onto life, dream our dreams, and believe that somewhere out there, we will find that special relationship that is not disposable. And, when we do, we will know that anything is possible, if we can just remember to hold onto hope. Because hope is what keeps our dreams alive. And our dreams are significant. They are never disposable unless we ourselves let them go.
Email Debbie and let her know what you thought of her story! Copyright © 2000 by Debbie Harrell, All rights reserved ******* A little bit about Debbie: I reside in Texas with a daughter, a son, one dog, three cats, and two lizards. I am an Information Specialist by day and a single mom all the time. I love living each day to the fullest and try to learn the lessons being presented to me. People fascinate me, and I am interested in their stories. I'm still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. For more of my writing, visit the following link at ThemeStream: http://themestream.com/gspd_browse/author/view_author_info.gsp?auth_id=100676 AOL Users Click Here: Debbie Harrell ================================================== Thought For The Day: "It is not what a man does that determines whether his work is sacred or secular, it is why he does it."
"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for
"Plain underwear is boring."
"Doc," the father says, "I keep seeing talking crickets, talking "Nothing at all," the doctor answers. "You're just having Disney
"Although I wanted my players to work to win, I tried to convince them they had always won when they had done their best." -- John Wooden
"If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the I am asking for prayer for my sister Judy who is 40 years old, married 1 year for the second time, has 2 teenage children, and 2 step teenage sons (one of whom is constantly in trouble for drugs - lives with her and her husband). My sister has severe emotional problems - borderline personality and is so unhappy most of the time - but she gets out of control -even on medicine - she's always been like this. She has a wonderful husband now who loves her even thought she goes berserk on him so often -calling the police, calling tons of people - leaving awful recorded messages - crying all the time. Her son who is a senior finally left her and went to live with his dad because it was so bad at home. I worry about my niece. Its just a lot to deal with emotionally. We have prayed all of our lives for her to get better - to really be saved and for the Lord to heal her. But it never does happen. She may be saved, but just not healed. I don't know. She does and says awful things - and it hurts my mother (72) so much. I have my own family now - married with a daughter, and a difficult job, and I just cannot carry my sister emotionally anymore. As a result - she has "cut us off" because we are "not her family anymore". I don't know how to ask for prayer on this - but just pray that we can have some peace in the family. I don't know how that will come about, but its time to enjoy the abundant life in Christ. This is so painful for all of us - and we just need a miracle in a big, big way. Thank you. I would like to ask your readers to pray for my brother-in-laws mother and _ ==================================================== Video Imagery (Michael's Video Production Business.) "I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch the video we gave Let me make you a video from your pictures or home movies! AOL Users click here: Video Imagery AOL Users click here: The Four Spiritual Laws ================================================== AOL Users click here: Writer's Guidelines ================================================== Give it a day or two to be processed... then try not to think of all the great stories "I need a daily source of inspiration and encouragement in my life!" To become a Straight From the Heart Member send a BLANK EMAIL to: Then get ready to laugh, cry, and be deeply touched by some of the best
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Touching Lives - One E-mail at a Time! Author Michael T. Powers - HeartTouchers @ aol.com
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