{Straight From the Heart}   *Big Sister*  3/9/00
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BIG SISTER

By:  Carol Parent


When my younger brother was about two years old, my parents knew there 
was something different about him - he didn't seem to be progressing 
at a normal rate, and they had concerns about his health.  After taking
him to several doctors, they were advised to place him in an 
institution because he would never live a "normal" life, my parents 
were told.  However, my parents refused to do that, and were determined
to give the best quality of life possible to their son.  Over the 
next 18 years of David's life, he saw every type of doctor imaginable, 
and the conclusion that was drawn was that he had a "degenerative 
neurological disorder."  Or, in so many words, over time his brain 
would stop sending the proper signals and cause his body to degenerate.

I was only a year older than him, but I never questioned why David was 
different, or why he didn't walk until he was almost 5 years old 
(the doctors said he would never walk, but he did), or why he wasn't 
like the other kids that I went to school with.  I was his big sister, 
and that was all that mattered.  When David was 15, my parents took 
him to yet another specialist who told them that David was going to 
start getting progressively worse, until he lost all of his motor 
functions.  Shortly after that, he did lose the ability to walk, due 
to muscle deterioration.  Over the next three years, he had many of 
bouts of illness and spent more time at the doctor than at home or 
school.  My parents have always been strong advocates for the disabled, 
and my father fought to get him in public schools with a program suited 
to his needs.  As soon as he won and the special education class at 
my brother's school was restructured to better suit the students' 
needs, David needed to be pulled from school due to his failing 
health and be at home.  In November of 1998, David's primary 
neurologist advised my parents to "prepare for the inevitable", 
as horrible as that sounds.  My parents fought even harder, but 
his health was going downhill.  I spent as much time as I could 
with David over the next couple months, and every moment we had 
together was precious.  

In January of 1999, David was admitted into 
the hospital with severe pneumonia.  Miraculously, he recovered from 
the pneumonia within one week, and the doctors were amazed.  But he 
was still in a lot of pain and his other functions were failing him. 
His digestive system was not working and he could no longer eat.  He 
was put on a catheter, and was given a Morphine drip to ease the pain 
he was in.  He came home from the hospital on a Thursday.  There was 
nothing further they could do for him, and we wanted him to be as 
comfortable as possible in his last days.  We had a hospital bed set 
up in the living room, with a Morphine drip in the IV, and also 
Morphine patches to keep him as comfortable as possible.  He was in 
so much pain the last few days.  Saturday he was still holding on, 
but his breathing was becoming more and more shallow and we knew that 
it was a matter of hours that he had left with us.  I stayed at my 
parents house that night so I could be with David, and my aunt and my
cousin came down from New York and we all sat by his bedside taking 
turns holding his hand while he tried to sleep.  My mother never once 
left his side.  

Shortly after midnight, my mother began crying and 
yelled that he wasn't breathing anymore, and I ran over to him and 
picked up his hand and hugged him.  He breathed a couple more shallow 
breaths and then he was gone.  Although my brother never talked, he 
"spoke" to me constantly.  I learned more about life from him than 
could ever have been taught in school, by my friends, or by my own 
parents.  He taught me about unconditional love, trust, and so many 
other life lessons that I wouldn't have learned without having him in 
my life.  People always assume that I had to make so many sacrifices 
growing up for the sake of my brother, and maybe I did.  But I never 
noticed.  I was his big sister, and that was all that mattered.

Shortly after his death, I wrote the following poem:

SPECIAL ANGEL

Your Special needs
My Special Gifts
Sent from God above
I yearned to teach you Everything
In return you taught me Love
I learned to laugh at the tough times
But I learned it was okay to cry
And through it all not once did I
Ever question why
You were sent here for a Reason
Looking back I now know why
You did so many Special things
It's so hard to say Good-bye
Sometimes I feel you Hug me
When I am lonely or depressed
And when I feel you near me
I know I can safely Rest
Now it is your turn to watch over me
To keep me safe from Danger
Because you are there, to care for me now
My True Special Angel


Carol Parent
SweetThing03@aol.com

Send Carol an email and let her know what you thought of her story!

A little bit about Carol:

 I am 21 years old, I live in Norwalk, CT and work in retail management.  
I am also working towards a degree in Psychology.  No website, but I do 
have an "online photo album" - www.easyfoto.com/CLP23
___________________________________________________

Thought For The Day:

"Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy."
(Jon Olson)

Verse for the Day:

"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings 
healing."
Proverbs 12:18

Kid's Thought For The day:

"Wishing you knew how to jump rope isn't enough."

Parent's Thought For The Day

"You know you've lost control when you're the one who goes to your room."
 -Baba Bell Hajdusiewicz

Coach's Thought For The Day

"You can measure a thoroughred's speed with a stopwatch, but it 
takes a race to measure his heart."

Deep Thought For The Day:

"I locked my coat-hanger in car. Good thing I had a key."

  _
/_/\/\    MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\  /    THUNDER27@aol.com   http://members.aol.com/Thunder27/index.html
/_/  \    "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \   Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body I live for the Son
   \_\/   of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."  Galatians 2:20	




Video Imagery (Michael's Video Production Business)

"I thought of you first after my family sat down to watch the video 
we gave them. They loved it, to say the least!  Within thirty 
seconds my mom was crying and my dad did too.  They said it was 
the best Christmas gift we could have given them!!  You did such 
a beautiful job!  They were so suprised and so touched---they 
really, really, really loved it.  Thanks for helping to make it so 
special to us all.  My mom mentioned how the songs were perfect for 
the video too!  Thanks again!"
         
Kelli  (RKaGe@aol.com)    College Station, TX 

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