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{Straight From the Heart} *Why I Stayed Out of Trouble* 6/20/00
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Why I Stayed Out of Trouble
(Tribute to Daddy)
By Pamela Blaine
Why is it that some kids grow up and stay out of trouble and others
are in the middle of it? As I pondered this, I believe that a lot
has to do with parenting and for me it had a lot to do with Daddy.
One of the things Daddy often said to me during my childhood was,
"You want to go with me?" It sounds like such a common statement
but when you think about it, it's a wonderful compliment, "Come, go
with me." It made a little girl feel very special. Wherever Daddy
went, I knew that I was welcome to go. It didn't matter the
destination...what mattered was that he wanted me around. There were
many years of visits to relatives, trips to town, business trips, or
"let's go for a ride".
As I got older and entered my teen years, Daddy was the one who took
my friends and I wherever we wanted to go. He must have waited hours
at the bowling alley for me while I cruised the courthouse square with
my friends. He went to all my ball games, band practices, and horse
shows. I look back now and I see that he didn't do it out of duty....
he really enjoyed it. He loved being involved in my life and he
enjoyed the people that he came in contact with through these activities.
Daddy loved life and had a wonderful sense of humor. He loved jokes and
I remember how we used to go to the grocery store and while a customer
would be looking away from his shopping cart, Daddy would put something
in their cart. He would usually put in something completely weird or
out of character for the person shopping. He would watch them go up
to the check out counter and then as they took things out of their
shopping cart he would watch the incredulous looks on their faces as
they saw perhaps mouse traps or a bathroom plunger. It is no wonder
that my family all laugh and love jokes so much.
All of this is to say that the bonding between father and daughter was
so strong that it caused me to think twice about my actions. I wanted
to please my Daddy and I didn't want to do anything that would disappoint him.
I did my share of wrong things and making unwise choices but it was
because of my father's example and the relationship that I had with
him that helped me escape many of the even life threatening problems
that I see entangling some young people today. As a teen, I remember
one instance of being in a place where I had been forbidden to go. I
found myself looking over my shoulder and thinking, "What would Daddy
say?" or "What if someone sees me here and tells Daddy". The
discomfort was so strong that I didn't enjoy being there at all and I
left that place as quickly as possible.
I believe the reason I stayed out of trouble was in one word,
"relationship". I would like to say that I was simply a good
Christian girl but that would not be true. You see, being very
young, I hadn't learned to walk with God yet, but I had learned
to walk with Daddy. He had taught me right from wrong. I knew what
he wanted me to do and what he didn't want me to do, but most of all I
knew beyond all doubt that he loved me.
Until Daddy was dying of terminal cancer, I never heard the words, "I
love you". When the end was nearing, he felt an urgency to tell us
and to be sure that we all knew that he loved us before he left this
world. Although it was nice to hear the words, it wasn't any secret.
We had known it all along by his actions...the arm around the shoulder,
the way he joked with us, the pat on the back, the way he looked proud
of us and talked proud of us to others. One fond memory I have is of
overhearing Daddy talking to his friend about me and telling him how
well I could clean the house and I was only eleven years old. You can
bet I cleaned the house better and more often after that.
What makes a good father? I believe it's spelled R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P.
To build that kind of relationship means spending time together.
The giving of time is a special gift because time is precious and we
can't make more time or get time back. Time spent with someone says
I'd rather be with you than with anyone else. This kind of
relationship cannot be faked. It must be real. It's the security of
"knowing" you are loved. Daddy loved me so much that I believe I
really thought that he loved me more than anyone else. I knew he
would die for me. That's how he made me feel. You see, he made my
mother and my brother feel that way too. That's how unconditional love
works...being loved completely, no matter what.
Because I had that strong relationship with my father, it made it easy
for me to love my Heavenly Father because I already knew what
unconditional love was about. I learned that my Heavenly Father
loved me so much that he sent his only Son into the world to take
my sin away. He actually did die for me. God would have done that
if I had been the only one in the world. He would do it for you if you
were the only one in the world. Again, that unconditional, unfailing
love...
By Pamela Blaine
Pamyblaine@aol.com
Please send me an email and let me know what you thought about my story.
"Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father!" -- Lydia M. Child
"There are many ways to measure success;
not the least of which is the way your child describes you
when talking to a friend."
-Unknown
My husband and I live in West Virginia. We have 4 children and 3
grandchildren. I play the piano and I'm part of the worship team
in my church. I love to write songs and stories. You can see some
of these on my webpages:
WebPages:
http://members.aol.com/mblaine/pamy/PamyPlace.html
PamyPlace
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Thought For The Day:
"Swallowing angry words before you say them is better than having to
eat them afterwards."
Verse for the Day:
"From the fruit of his mouth a man's stomach is filled; with the
harvest of his lips he is satisfied. The tongue has the power of
life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."
Proverbs 18:20,21
Kid's Thought For The day:
"Before you trade sandwiches, check between the bread."
Parent's Thought For The Day
"One of the great ironies...is that feeding children, a task whose
misery cannot be overstated, leads to more diaper changing."
(Gary D. Christenson)
Coach's Thought For The Day
"There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have
grown hopless about them."
(Clare Booth Luce)
Deep Thought For The Day:
"Anyone who says Fish don't have any feelings has probably never
insulted a Japanese Fighting Fish's mother."
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/_/\/\ MICHAEL T. POWERS
\_\ / THUNDER27@aol.com http://members.aol.com/Thunder27/index.html
/_/ \ "For I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but
\_\/\ \ Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live for the Son
\_\/ of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
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