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{Heart4Teens.com} *Give and Take*
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http://www.Heart4Teens.com/Teen_Stories
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Over 87,000 people have listened to popular Chicken Soup Author Michael T. Powers' free inspirational message entitled: "Breathing Life into Others". If you aren't one of them just visit: http://www.HeartTouchers.com and click on the link to listen to the free streaming audio message!
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Give and Take
by Susie Shellenberger
Jamie was popular because:
1. She was nice to everyone.
2. She smiled a lot.
Ready for the next one? Jamie knew how to talk and listen. It wasn't unusual at all to see her listening to someone sharing a problem, but she was also a good conversationalist. In other words, the other person didn't have to do all the talking.
Everyone knows someone who talks all the time. They're not much fun to be around, are they? I once had a friend whom I went out to eat a lot with. She talked all the time. As in nonstop. Once in a while, she'd say, "Susie, I don't understand you. You travel all over the place and speak to thousands of teenagers every year, but you sure don't say much one-on-one."
I wanted to say, "How can I? You never give me a chance!"
Everyone wants to talk.We all have a story to tell. Each of us enjoy having someone listen to what we say. It makes us feel important when someone is truly interested in what we're saying.
LEARN TO LISTEN
When other people find out you're willing to listen, believe me, they'll talk--and they'll be talking to you! But when you listen . . . really listen. I'm talking about genuine listening--not the kind of "listening" where you focus your eyes on the person speaking, but your mind is focused on Jason Issacs who's approaching your table.
When someone is talking to you, zero in 100 percent on that person. It's easy to tell when someone's just pretending to listen but really thinking about something else. That won't fly in making friends. You'll be known as a phony.
Okay, but once I've learned to be a great listener, what am I going to do with all the stuff I'm hearing? Oooh. That's a good one.
You're going to have to learn to keep secrets. A genuine friend is one who can be trusted. When Josh tells you in confidence that he likes Bethany, you can't run off and tell her--even though it'll kill you not to.
Would it ever be right to break a secret? Oooh. Another good one. And the answer is yes. If your friend is in danger of hurting herself or someone else, you can't keep that information private. But we'll talk more about that later when we get into how to help your friends who are going through really rough times.
Back to keeping secrets. Make it a priority. When people realize they can trust you--truly trust you--they'll feel safe in opening up to you with their problems, hurts, questions, fears and dreams. But listening is only half of this strategy. It's just as important to talk as it is to listen. The key is learning when to talk. Try not to talk just to hear yourself talking--that brings us back to my friend who just talked and talked and talked allllll the time. No one else could get a word in edgewise.
Don't put the burden of the entire conversation on someone else. You've got to do your part, too. Talking is learning how to be a good conversationalist.
Seventeen-year-old Lance says, "It always freaks me out when I'm with a girl who expects me to do all the talking. That's too much pressure. I like being with girls who can hold their own end of the conversation."
Jeremy feels the same way: "Sometimes I'll be with a girl who acts like she's afraid to say something. I mean, how else are we gonna get to know each other if we don't talk and listen? But sometimes girls act like what they have to say isn't important. Of course it is! I wouldn't be spending time with a girl, trying to carry on a conversation with her, if I didn't care about what she has to say."
Guess what? Lance and Jeremy aren't the only ones who feel this way. Everyone wants to be in a friendship that has both give and take when it comes to talking.
Yeah, but sometimes I just don't know what to say!
I hear you. And I understand. Here's a little secret: If you're really listening to what the other person is saying, you can ask questions about what he's talking about.
Eric just mentioned he has a lot of math homework. So make a question out of what you've heard: "Do you like math?"
"Ah, it's okay. But Mrs. Johnson sure gives us a lot of homework!"
Now grab your next question from what he's just told you.
"I haven't had Mrs. Johnson. Is she a good teacher? Does she explain things well?"
Of course, you don't always have to continue the conversation by asking questions. Throw your own thoughts out there as well. Again, Eric has just mentioned he has a lot of math homework. You contribute your own thoughts: "I don't have any math homework, but I've got a huge report to write on this play called 'Our Town' that we've been reading in Lit."
Taken from "How to Help Your Hurting Friend" by Susie Shellenberger, copyright 2003, Youth Specialties/Zondervan. Used by permission. Order the book here: http://www.youthspecialties.com/product/25308X
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Though For The Day:
"Man can live about forty days without food, about three days without
water, about eight minutes without air... but only for one second
without hope." --Hal Lindsey
Verse for the Day:
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
Teen's Thought For The Day:
"Teenagers have a tendency to categorize all adults as either "nice" or "mean". Nice adults are those who never tell them anything that they don't want to hear. While mean adults are those who tell them the truth about what is going on in a teen's life. As a teenager, you have to decide which adults really love and care about you. Are they the "nice" ones or the "mean" ones?" --Michael T. Powers
Parent's Thought For The Day:
"Don't ask the Lord to guide your footsteps unless you are willing to move
your feet."
Coach's Thought For The Day:
"Leaders are ordinary people -- with extraordinary determination."
Deep Thought For The Day:
"Sign on the door of a maternity ward in a hospital: 'push, push, push'."
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Author MICHAEL T. POWERS
www.Heart4Teens.com
Contributing Author to Chicken Soup for the Teen's Soul on Love and Friendship and 25 other inspirational books.
"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me." Galatians 2:20
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ALL-STAR Ministry
--The Youth Church of Faith Community Church in Janesville, WI
If you are in 6-12th grade and live in the southern Wisconsin/northern Illinois area and would like to check us out, we meet every Sunday night from 6:30-8:00 PM at Faith Community Church which is located at 2931 Lucerne Dr. in Janesville, WI. (About 3 blocks south-east of The Skating Place.)
All-Stars: 6:30 - 8:00 PM Sunday nights! Open to all youth grades 9-12.
The Outlet: 6:30 - 8:00 PM Sunday nights in the Multi-Purpose Room! Open to all youth grades 6-8.
Currently we have students from Edgerton, Fort Atkinson, Milton, Janesville Craig, Janesville Parker, Marshall, Franklin, Orfordville, Clinton, Beloit Memorial, Beloit Turner, South Beloit, and Hononegah. E-mail me back if you have any questions about our weekly meetings or would like to come to any of our events that are listed below... We have way too much fun and then, most importantly, talk about issues that are relevant to you as a teenager.
Upcoming Topics:
New Series! Rewired: Developing a Biblical World View
September 24: Rewired
October 1: Creatures that Defy Evolution
October 8: Have You Lost Your Mind?
October 15: Making Sense of it All
October 22: If We Come From the Ground We're Nothing But Dirt
October 29: Image is Everything
November 5: Special Drama Presentation by the Spring Creek Players! 6 PM start time!
November 12: The Gates of Hell
November 19: Bad to the Bone
November 26: Somebody Save Me
December 3: That's Not Fair
December 10: Prepare to Die
December 17: True to Who?
December 24: No All-Stars -- Spend Christmas Eve with your family!
December 31: No All-Stars -- Spend New Year's Eve with your family!
Visit our youth website to see our topics for all of 2007!
http://www.faithcommunitychurch.net/youth
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Teen Community Groups
6:30 - 8:00 PM Wednesday nights (September though May)
These groups are limited to no more than ten teens and are split into Jr. High and High School ages. This night is for those teens who want to dig deeper than what we do in All-Stars, but may not be ready to be a part of the Xtreme Teens. These cell groups will also be doing special activities with each other as the year goes on to build community.
Jr. High age meets at the church and are led by Kent and Rachel Martin
High School age are led by Matt and Kristi Kauffman: 4339 Fox Hills (Call 758-1243 if you have any questions!)
Xtreme Teens
Xtreme Teens meet on Wednesday nights from 6:15 - 8:30 PM all year round at the Powers' house. This group is very extensive with weekly homework, memorization, service projects, etc. Students interested in this group will have to fill out an application, provide references as to why others think they should be involved with this, and sign an agreement as to what is expected of them. Admission into Xtreme Teens is on a case by case basis. Contact Pastor Michael for more details!
